Definition of a friend

It seems like lately i have been having a struggle one that is fairly simple yet too complex and yet on the same token not as noticable but very much "up in your face" what is my problem you ask? Well friendship. Yeah i know it seems almost trivial and just a little childish but PLEASE listen (or read) the entire argumenet. I know it has been quite the time since i have last updated and sure i can say it is bacause i was uber busy (which i WAS) but that isnt the only thing honestly. In the time i have been gone i have not only turned 18 but i have graduated from high school, found out cant live on campus anymore and would be startin in the fall, chopped off my hair because i got it twisted up to start dreadlocks AND found that i have no true understanding of a friend....at least not in the eyes of God.
Graduating from high school, i knew would be a big milestone in my life and trust im so happy to have made it and God blessing me to graduate with flying colors but in the process as with many transitions i have lost many friends,frinossciates and even associates who i thought could be more. I just don't understand it anymore. Sometimes i feel as if i have been overly betrayed but then im reminded of Jesus and his time on Earth with the Disciples who he knew were backstabbers, liars, thiefs, and just not the best crowd to hang around regardless. Even Judas the one who betrayed him with a kiss. I find it so keen that even though he knew this he still called him "friend" and a brother of his. I mean people this is THE SON OF GOD WHO KNEW ALREADY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.....and yet he still had compassion, love, and mercy on him. You see it wasnt that Jesus was lookin for perfection or something but more over he was surrounded by those least likely of being considered "firends" of Christ but he still showed them every ounce of love he had in him. The problem i face now days is the false representation of a "friend" in our society, i mean look at facebook, myspace, youtube, and even blogs the people who add you (and you accept) are called what? FRIENDS and on twitter "followers" another close meaning of friend and in all this we get so wrapped (or i get) up in the count of people you have and the numbers saved in your phone and forget to realize that none of that will firstly EVER compare to the Lord and savior as our friend but also we can never really understand what it is to have a friend until we know what is like to be a friend.
Over the years, grant it i have lost many friends when we drifted apart for various reasons and some who went cold turkey but the main thing that i am learning as God reveals is that when we love people regardless of whether we call them friend or even enemy that greatest friend we have is in Jesus himself and God and all other relationships are divinely appointed by him. I assure you this is nothing slight of an "easy" lesson to learn or understand fully but with time and maybe even some tears he reveals his self EVERY time by and by. Ad in him i have the greatest friendship that i have ever had and its one that will never end. He strangthens my friendships today that are meant and breaks the one who are not connected to my destiny and calling but i know a man, a friend, best friend, father, and God who knows all sees all and cares for me most of all....other than that there is no true definition lest i have it firstly in him and trust him to handle the rest, I find that a true blessing of a friendship with God.
Hannah Marie ♥